Nothing funny about feldspar

Mr. Old Friend of The Family was reading our paltry newspaper when I came downstairs, got my coffee, picked up my laptop, and commenced my morning routine.

“Getting right on The Computer, huh?” Mr. Old Friend asked.

“Yeah,” I responded. “It’s like reading the paper.”

I heard the capitals. For this man, “The Computer” is the important part. For slightly more sophisticated non-users, like Plagioclase’s Mother, it’s “The Internet”.

For me, it’s the news (from a dozen sources), it’s email, it’s Twitter, it’s Plurk, it’s Flickr, it’s reading blogs of people I know but have never met… “The Computer” just makes it easier for me to read a lot of stuff. It’s the places I go that are important, not the conveyance.

We don’t say “I took the bus downtown” when buses are our normal mode of transportation, we just say “I went downtown.” How long before “The Computer” fades into the background?

This year, instead of paying exorbitant “artisanal” prices for something I used to be able to get at the grocery store, I bought the toasted dried sweet corn directly from the source. Having done this a couple of weeks in advance of The Day, I decided to go for Ground shipping.

After 10 days (the usual limit of Ground shipping promises), I still hadn’t received the stuff. I contacted the company asking for a tracking number. They complied, and here’s an abridged version of the tracking report:

11/11/2008 12:30 P.M. BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED
11/11/2008 6:43 P.M. ORIGIN SCAN
11/11/2008 9:23 P.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
11/12/2008 7:59 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN
11/12/2008 9:43 P.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
11/13/2008 12:03 A.M. ARRIVAL SCAN
11/13/2008 2:52 P.M. THE APARTMENT NUMBER IS MISSING OR IS INCORRECT. UPS IS ATTEMPTING TO OBTAIN THIS INFORMATION.
11/13/2008 7:51 P.M. THE APARTMENT NUMBER IS MISSING OR IS INCORRECT. UPS IS ATTEMPTING TO OBTAIN THIS INFORMATION. / A POSTCARD HAS BEEN SENT TO THE RECIPIENT REQUESTING THAT THEY CONTACT UPS.
11/20/2008 6:56 P.M. THE APARTMENT NUMBER IS MISSING OR IS INCORRECT. UPS IS ATTEMPTING TO OBTAIN THIS INFORMATION. / RETURNED TO SHIPPER
11/20/2008 9:15 P.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
...
11/24/2008 12:42 P.M. DELIVERY


I’ve taken off the locations, but you can see the general path of the corn. I ordered it on the 11th, it left the shipper on the 11th. UPS tried to deliver it on the 13th, 2 days later (this is “Ground shipping” remember). The lazy ass UPS driver neglected to drive past the apartment complex that is 2 blocks away from my house, neglected to read the numbers that are prominent on every building on our street, and therefore decided that I didn’t exist. The very same week a different UPS driver managed to find our house twice, so it’s the driver, not the maps. (Needless to say, I never got the “postcard” alluded to in the list.)

The “DELIVERY” on the 24th is back to the original shipper. I didn’t learn of the issue until the corn was on the way back. This problem could have been mitigated by the shipper giving me the tracking number in the first place, but they’re a small company — I would suspect they don’t have an automated shipping system.

However, Farm Stand Foods really stepped up to the plate — and sent out a new order, this time by UPS 3-Day Select. Great! I should get the corn by Thanksgiving (though I really wanted it for the weekend before, so I could make the pudding for a party; I took a cobbler instead).

Here’s the tracking data for the new shipment:

11/21/2008 2:56 P.M. BILLING INFORMATION RECEIVED
11/21/2008 8:06 P.M. ORIGIN SCAN
11/22/2008 6:00 A.M. DEPARTURE SCAN
11/22/2008 3:10 P.M. ARRIVAL SCAN


That last “ARRIVAL SCAN” is at the local regional UPS Hub. My package is “ON TIME”, scheduled for delivery on the 26th. Even though it is sitting 45 minutes away, and has been since Saturday. When it came by “Ground” it got to my vicinity in 2 days. Now that it is coming using a “guaranteed” method, UPS will not deliver before its agreed date. This, I find, is totally incomprehensible. “3 Day Select” doesn’t count the weekend, so my corn is taking longer by air than by ground.

Moral of the story? I don’t know if there is one. Ground shipments are cheaper and quicker, but the UPS delivery guys can’t read house numbers. The UPS guys who handle air shipments have never had a problem finding my house, but air shipping costs more and takes longer.

I suppose next time I have something shipped via UPS ground I’ll tell the shipper to be sure to note that it is going to a single-family residence and not an apartment. Maybe then the driver will drive those two extra blocks.

Our local newspaper is in the process of moving its editorial and design staff to another city (several papers in the state are all owned by one company). All that will be left here is the print shop and delivery, as well as some local ad sales people and a few reporters. The paper has been declining for the past few years, with fewer and fewer local stories and more and more wire stories to fill up the smaller pages. You’d think they’d figure out that people get wire stories online and would rather see local stuff, but they don’t seem to have gotten it yet.

Anyway, one thing the local paper is good for is the list of Legal Announcements. This is the section in the classifieds that is reserved for letting the public know that (deceased) so-and-so’s creditors need to file with the Probate Court soon, or that John Doe is changing his name to Jane Doe. I have a bookmark to read these online — it’s a great way to find out about storage bin auctions, not that most storage bins have any good stuff…

What’s going to happen when our local paper ceases production altogether? Where are the Township Meeting Notices going to get published then? How do you have a “newspaper of record” without the paper? Is it enough to say it’s published online, when you can’t pick up “online” from the diner booth next to you?

Contract of retirement

Hello,
We’ve drew up the contract taking into account those paragraphs you’d wanted.
Our legal experts made some recasts on the last page of the contract. Please, get to know with it, and if everything is ok we are prepared to pay for the first lot on Friday
The prepared contract is in the added file

We also can send the contract by fax
Waiting for your reply

[Contract N45.zip (22.3 KB) redacted]

Wow, I must have been conducting important business while asleep, or perhaps it was my alter ego?

Me. Grr.
Him. Grumble.
Me. Grumpy!
Him. Grumbelina!
Me. Ya Old Fool!
Him. Woman!
Both. snicker