Having a bad week (month?)

22 Mar, 2008  Mundanity

I’ve had a series of setbacks lately which have really affected me more than I thought anything could anymore. I mean, I figured that once my parents passed away, that would be it for emotional rollercoastering until Plagioclase and I had our own health problems. I didn’t expect “smooth sailing” for the next several decades, but I did have some hope that my enduring awkwardness would be mitigated by grown-up experience.

It seems it hasn’t. There’s no use going into details — let’s just say that over the past couple of weeks things have happened that make me realize that I am still just as shy, introverted and socially inept as I was at 15, and still just as devastated by it. It doesn’t help that I’ve been missing my mom and thinking about never having certain meals again — uninspired cook though she was, Mom did make some of my favorite comfort foods that just aren’t the same if I make them.

Anybody got a method for averting full-scale depression? I’d try drinking, but it keeps me up at night.

4 Comments so far »

  1. wolfa

    wrote on March 22, 2008 @ 9:12 pm

    A story I am stealing from someone else:

    A friend of my sister’s once went to an exhibit of paintings by Soviet artists at the local art museum and was with a group being given a guided tour by a curator. Naturally, most of the paintings were a little grim. About halfway through the tour, one dipshit lady demanded to know why the paintings were all so depressing. The curator tried to explain that, well, Soviet oppression, economic and social problems, fear of being SHIPPED to the goddamn GULAG, blah blah blah, but the lady just sputtered, “Well…maybe they could have tried a little harder? Why couldn’t they just HAPPY ON UP?”

    So clearly you need to just HAPPY ON UP. It’s easy when you jut look at it that way.

  2. Orthoclase

    wrote on March 23, 2008 @ 9:40 am

    I shall put HAPPY ON UP on the list right after BUCK UP and GET OVER IT. But DRINKING, INAPPROPRIATE SPENDING and CHOCOLATE have precedence.

  3. son1

    wrote on March 24, 2008 @ 8:17 am

    A “method?” That seems overly optimistic. My approach, a few years ago, involved focusing on small projects which were pointless and useless (and not related to my thesis). The only requirement was that they be … funny, I think. Humorous, when completed. Also, an emphasis on visually pleasing and interactive. Working exclusively on those for about six months, and not letting myself feel guilty about doing so, worked well for me.

  4. Orthoclase

    wrote on March 24, 2008 @ 10:20 am

    You’re probably right about it being optimistic to try to methodize my way out of a depression. I’m hoping that by recognizing the signs, I’ll be able to at least stave off the worst of it before it’s too late.

    Your idea about concentrating on working on something fun could be useful. While I can’t not do the stuff that’s raising my stress level, I might be able to do something else that offsets. For me that is a task that is repetitive, but requires enough thought to keep me from daydreaming.

    But first I’m going to try CHOCOLATE.

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