Do it my way!
Plagioclase and I have been together for, what, a couple of dozen years now? (We met in the crib, of course.) Though those years we’ve worked out many of those little details one has to take into account when living with other people that you never think about until something happens to bring it to your attention.
For instance, toilet seats. Recently Plagioclase’s eldest brother and his wife visited us, and we gave them a bathroom all their own to use. I had to pop in to get a Dixie® cup (I felt like I was interloping, but I really needed the cup!) and noticed they had the toilet lid and seat up. How weird! It took all my willpower to keep from running over and dropping the lid. I’ve been wondering if this habit of theirs is a result of their old-fashioned ideas about the relative status of husband and wife (easier for him, she does the work)? It could just be that he was last to use the toilet, and she knows to watch out for dunking. It could be they never discussed it. But this episode reminded me that early on in our cohabitation Plagioclase and I agreed that toilet seats and lids are to be down when not in use. This means we both have to raise and lower the lid (at least) every time; neither person gets the opportunity to just rush in and pee without doing some work.
Here’s another example, again drawn from the bathroom. Plagioclase and I share a lot of things, but not toothbrushes. Since we could never remember which toothbrush was whose (and we are not picky about brand, style or other features except for bristle softness), we finally started buying two toothbrushes at the same time — one in pink and one in blue. (”Pink is for boys.”) I think about this every time it’s time to get new toothbrushes.
Do you live with someone that you didn’t grow up with? How did you decide between “my family’s way” vs. “your family’s way” vs. “figuring out our own way”?
