Tethered Yo-Yo
Plagioclase’s mother has good days and bad days. On her good days, she can get her own meals, takes an interest in the world, is willing to leave the house even if it’s only to sit in the car while we run errands.
On her bad days she’s much more difficult to deal with. She doesn’t move well in any event, so when she’s “off” she has even more problems getting around the house than usual (and in our crowded-with-several-households-worth-of-stuff house that’s an issue), she’s querulous, can’t make decisions, refuses to eat more than one cracker with cheese and a banana at lunch (”it’s too much food!”) and can’t even get that for herself. I am absolutely certain that she hates this feeling of not being able to control her own feet, her hands or her lunch, but she’s sure not making it easy on me, either.
I never realized how “easy” I had it when I was taking care of my invalid father. I didn’t have to worry about him falling (except when he was delirious and thought he could get out of bed), he ate whatever I set before him (even though he insisted on having tomato soup and a turkey sandwich for lunch every day). We all understood our rôles (he was the dying man, and I was the heroically dutiful daughter, with a supporting role played by my mom, the long-suffering spouse), and after a while we got into a rhythm.
Now, however, I never know from one day to the next (or even one hour to the next sometimes) what condition Plagioclase’s mother is in. She could be fine at breakfast, but by the time she comes for lunch she’s stupid (There is no way to put a positive spin on that word. She becomes cognitively inept.) and really difficult to deal with. Because of this, someone has to be here at mealtimes to make sure she eats without endangering herself with knives or hot coffee and takes her medicine.
The hardest part is Plagioclase is convinced that it’s something to do with the various medications she’s taking and her various conditions. I’m think that he feels that if he just finds the right combination of stuff, she’ll have good days all the time. I’m not quite so optimistic that there is a right combination.
In case you haven’t guessed — today is a bad day.
