Nothing funny about feldspar

I haven’t been blogging much lately because I’ve been trying to deal with my mom’s estate. It’s not that I’m super-busy, but more like I never seem to be able to write about what’s going on without fear of jinxing stuff. (Yes, I am somewhat superstitious.) That and most of it is incredibly mundane. Phone calls and faxes and meetings with lawyers and real estate agents and plumbers.

I’ve known for years that I was the back-up executor for my parents (they were each others’ primary), so I knew this was coming. I’ve also known for years that there wouldn’t be much left at the end — my parents were full believers in using credit and equity (”if you’ve got it, use it!”), and didn’t save much.

Their habits, however, have left me in a difficult position. There’s not quite enough cash to keep everything going until the house sells; my only option is to sell the house at a steep discount and hope there’s enough left over to keep the estate from being insolvent. In the meantime, I’m spending my own money to take care of getting the house cleaned out and repaired (which I probably won’t get back) and fending off my sister’s requests for early disbursements of the contents of Mom’s checking account (”All you have to do is give me my half of the money and I’ll give you a receipt.” She doesn’t seem to understand that beneficiaries come last in probate.)

Before the last few months I thought that the executor of an estate didn’t have to worry about late payments and collection calls. After all, assuming the estate is going to be (eventually) solvent, every one will get paid. But creditors don’t think the way I do. So not only do I have the normal stress of missing my mom, I get to worry about juggling her bills and mine, too.

I know I’m the best person to be doing this job that needs to be done. Mom’s finances weren’t in disarray — she just owed people money. I had no problem identifying legitimate creditors, and I knew who they were even before she got sick (I’ve been working with her finances for a couple of years). I just wish that the system was somehow different, that I could convince the banks that they’ll get paid without them having to foreclose, or seize assets, or threaten my credit rating.

I just wish it didn’t have to be done at all.