Nothing funny about feldspar

One of the forums I visit is rather chatty and amazingly has a very low flame-to-posts quotient. Consequently, snarky people like me are left to blog comments instead of posting them to the forum.

For instance, the inspiration of this post (paraphrased):

i use small letters on all forums. i think small letters are prettier.

This, to me, is disingenuous. This person is either shy, or has lowered self-esteem, or is just too lazy to hit the shift key. How do I know this? Well, perhaps I’m projecting, but I recognize the sentiment — having gone through the phase of always signing my name in lowercase. I seldom post in small letters, unless I’m IMing and am in a hurry or only typing one-handed. One doesn’t like to come right out and say “I’m having a small-ego period” so they try to hide behind lowercase, like they’re only whispering their thoughts. (This is not the same mechanism for the lazy people — though you can usually tell who they are by the sheer volume of their verbiage.)

Next time…the people who only use ellipses…you know who I mean…

I have a pile of socks in purgatory (limbo? I can’t keep the not-heaven-and-not-hell states straight). These are the ones that have come out of the wash missing their mates.

It’s a sad little pile, with a little bit of dust covering the top-most sock. (Hey, cleaning makes my allergies act up. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.) I keep promising myself that I will toss them out, so they don’t sit on top of my dresser, staring forlornly at me with their little sock eyes… uh, anyway. But I know that once I do, their mates will show up. However, I also know that I will then put those socks into limbo (purgatory?), because I will not remember which ones it was I just threw away.

Maybe I need a sock database. Or perhaps I should start a sock-sharing service online… Nah. That would be too weird. Wouldn’t it?

For some reason, I picked up a box of Cream of Wheat (I can’t help it, I like grains for breakfast). And I got to wondering… what does one do with C-o-W besides eat it for breakfast? I mean, cornmeal and oatmeal each have numerous uses outside of breakfast, but try to find a Cream of Wheat recipe and all you get are mix-ins.

So anyway, searching for C-o-W recipes led me to Amazon.com’s grocery section. I have never been to Amazon.com’s grocery section before, and I find it a little strange. So one has to buy stuff in bulk, but it doesn’t cost any less than getting it from your local store. So what’s the point? Getting that cereal that you’ve been looking everywhere for? Dude, learn to like something else…

Here in my 5th decade, I’m finally starting to learn that I can respect people without having to like them. I’m also learning that there is some path-dependence on the whole liking-thing.

I just spoke with my sister — and I realized that I do respect her for her cunning, for her resourcefulness, and for her social skills. However, I don’t like her. I might have liked her (or at least thought she wasn’t too bad) if I’d had social contact with her outside of being related to her, if I hadn’t lived with her for 16 years and tasted the true flavor of her personality.

(As an aside, this means I have never understood the whole “close as sisters” thing, you know, the sappy cards & coffee mugs, &c. I can barely stand to be in the same room as her, and time my phone calls to just before she has to go to work.)

I think she’s quite successful in the milieu she’s chosen for herself, and I don’t wish her ill, but I don’t think I’ll be calling her up for chats once Mom’s estate is taken care of. Which, given the general history of my family, is par for the course.

That’s something I’ve always known, though.

Do you do all of your banking with one big bank, because it’s easier — they have all of your accounts right there, the people at the branch know you, you can see everything in one place online?

Well, I’m here to inform you that the integration you are experiencing is all smoke and mirrors. My mom had her deposit accounts, three credit accounts, and a co-signed student loan — all obtained from the branch of Big Bank nearest her home. And I have had to talk to people in different offices in different states for each account independently to get every one of them taken care of for her estate. And for each one I have had to give them their own copies of the official estate paperwork because they wouldn’t trust a fax from one of their own branches.

Executing a will is not a particularly difficult task, but it can be very frustrating. One finds oneself thrust into the middle of dozens of bureaucracies, often without warning. The only high point I’ve had so far is being able to laugh at the collection agency for one of the credit accounts.¹

This guy called at dinner, and asked for payment.

I said, “I’m not making any payments — it’s in probate, wait your turn.”

And he said, “Not making payments can hurt your mom’s credit rating!”

To which I replied, “She’s dead. What’s that doing to her credit rating?”

He hung up.

1. Oh, by the way, Big Bank sold the three credit accounts to three different collection agencies — too bad, they all have to wait for probate.↩