Nothing funny about feldspar

The problem with the ICU is they limit visiting hours. No, that’s not really a problem… but they allow one hour, then there’s a two hour break before the next scheduled hour. And it’s never certain you’re going to get to see your loved one.

I don’t stay all day waiting for my hour-at-a-time. Not that I don’t want to visit with my mom, but I’m not entirely sure she’s helped by me being there. I hold her hand, but I’m not good with the chit-chat. I was thinking that when she goes to a regular room, I can sit with her and read to her and be there when the docs come round (at least the later ones!). But for now, I’m stuck waiting for a phone call in the morning and seeing her for an hour or two during the day.

Mom’s off the ventilator, and has been since about 10:15 this morning. Everything was looking so positive this morning — off the ventilator, the arterial blood line taken out, no pokes except for the IV, she could hear and understand. She grinned at my jokes, and looked at me when the physical therapist asked “Where’s Orthoclase?” But she didn’t move her feet or her hands when the doctor asked her to, though I did see her grasping and moving her blanket yesterday. She doesn’t seem to be able to move her mouth into word forms, and my sister told me they may want to do a tracheotomy because Mom’s not coughing and she should be, possibly a result of the stroke.

Time will tell, I suppose. All I can do is wait, and sit with her when I’m allowed to, and love her. It’s just going to have to be enough.