Nothing much
If I ever become a restauranteur, I would strive to have an affordable per-seat meal cost in an environment that was unwelcoming to people with children. It’s not that I don’t like children (I don’t), it’s the fact that I have to pay megabucks to eat in a restaurant without some urchin announcing in a piercing wail that somebody put mustard on their hot dog.
Why I don’t think I’m a good writer: I overuse, or underuse, commas; I write “too telegraphically;”* and I always have three examples.
Some people have no knack for picking colors.
Why are farts funny?
Engineers are lazy people. Why else are they always trying to make things easier to make or do? When, for example, is the last time you cranked your car by hand? The last time you left the couch to change the channel? The last time you popped popcorn on the stove-top?
Autumn is my favorite time of year, and Halloween has special significance for me. But I hate seeing all of the cute punkins, goofy ghosts, and creepy kitties at the grocery store. Makes me feel like the holiday is crass and commercial, like we don’t have a dozen other days set aside to buy candy. Like Christmas. Why don’t we decorate for that? We do? Oh, right. That’s what I saw in every gorram store since September — fake christmas trees and all the trimmings. Kroger even has the christmas cards on clearance already. Sheesh.
* Freshman English prof.
